Horrible Wedding Dresses

Melania Trump showing her understated elegant taste.

She must have seen princess Di’s wedding dress and thought she could top it.

Christina Aguilera wearing a Christian Lacroix dress. Of course she's going to wear an attention-grabbing dress but this is just terrible. Hate the ruffles on the train. What is the red thing hanging down to her crotch?

Any episode of My Big, Fat, Gypsy Wedding. Thread closed.

ALL wedding dresses = horrible wedding dresses

If you can’t wear it in another occasion, it’s a fucking wreck of a gown

The fabric is beautiful but the whole look is nullified because she married a creepy disgusting monster. Blecch

Pearls on a swine-wife.

This is pretty bad. They have good hair & skin tho.

Di’s dress was a frumpy disaster.

That is the tackiest get up I’ve ever seen Melanie wear…

I wish her nothing but the best, but Celine Dion.

Where is she from, Eastern Europe? 😂 😂

I wish her nothing but the best, but Brigitte Nielsen.

Lol at Sylvester and his tiny pre-HGH head

That looks like a ribbon tied to Christina's wrist. It's her "something red".

I wish them nothing but the best, but Australian country music singer Jean Stafford (and her husband Wayne Appleby).

The gushing prose at R9’s link makes me want to burn down the world.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Wow. Brits are a special group of retard.

Emma Thompson. Just plain ugly!

I'm sorry she died and it's probably design heresy to say it, but the late Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy's wedding dress was horrible. There is such a thing as TOO minimal. Boring as hell. Wan. Lacking in structure, substance, adornment, or anything enduring.

It made women of lesser means think that a satin negligee was a good wedding look. It's the climax of the industrial plainness of the 90s, and the lazy idea that "minimal = classy," when the two are not necessarily synonymous (the link below comes from "Elegancepedia" for God's sake).

If Carolyn were alive today, I bet her over-plucked eyebrows still wouldn't have grown back.

I saw Malaria's dress featured in Hookers Wear Daily!

Elizabeth Taylor at her first wedding to Richard Burton.

Melania is one tacky whore. Wonder what she’s up to with Lurch, the son

Pam and Kid Rock….trailer trash and the hooker. Bet their rehearsal dinner featured Funyuns and Pork Rinds.

Sorry, R20, but Carolyn Bessette's is the best so far. The only one I'd consider classy or elegant.

R24 Posting from the opposite end of the "I'm sorry she's dead and everything, but...." spectrum

R20 is out of her mind. Carolyn Bassette Kennedy looked absolutely gorgeous and set wedding dress trends for years.

Agree r26, but with caveat

The only type of woman that would look classy and elegant on is a tall (over 5’ 8”), size 0 model. Which Carolyn was

The always classy Katie Price

R24 her mother and mother-in-law must have been proud

Bessette was getting married in a small, simple church. Her dress isn't inappropriate for the venue and she had the figure for it. It's really not her fault if other people wore it wrong.

Diana pulled it off, but her dress was kind of awful.

Caveat accepted, R30. She wore the dress -later copycats let the dress wear them.

Why are most wedding dresses so hideous? It's hard to imagine them looking good on anyone!

R20 is nuts. That dress was everything and she looked stunning in it.

I assume the bride at R24 wore that dress to a church wedding. She gave the minister something to look at.

Jude Law’s new bride is built like a man.

The couple at R24 should be admired. They're being honest about their relationship, eg. trashy hooker marries rich guy.

R24 has to be some tacky eastern European/Russian shit. Gypsy?

The only thing I thought wrong with Caroline Bessette that day was she really needed more make up. She looked washed out which was normal for her but on your wedding day you need more pop.

I know it's going to come up eventually so I am going to preemptively just say I LOVE GWEN STEFANI'S dress. If I were ever able to find an elderly, rich man who I could drug long enough to redo his will and drag his almost corpse down the aisle, that's the dress I would wear.

Carolyn Bessette would have looked great in a paper bag, but that's exactly what that dress was: a white paper bag with a very wan baguette in it. As dull as shelf-stable milk. Who on earth wants to replicate Celine Dion's dress? Nobody. But everybody wanted to copy Carolyn's dress, which unfortunately made for a very boring decade. Cocaine minimalism, that's what it says to me.

I also don't think those two would have stayed married to each other, not that it matters much now. They would have divorced and remarried other people, and we'd be here on DL talking about those dresses instead.

I never realized how many wedding dresses I think are ugly - even many of the more subtle ones. It's just not a category of clothing that is ever that attractive.

Oh Jesus Christ, Melania Trump looks like one of those hillbilly gypsy wives you see on TLC's "my big fat gypsy wedding."

I think of wedding dresses as looking symbolically appropriate up until about the 1970s. Maybe not what a woman would or could wear under any other set of circumstances, but at least coherent.

In the 1980s they began to seem really grotesque.

The concept of a wedding dress is relatively new. Prior to the 20th century a woman wore her "Sunday" dress or best dress.

My very elegant great-aunts wore nice clothes, and certainly not white, and they got married in the thirties.

I think the worst decade for wedding dresses was the 80's. Poufs and bows and weird headgear. The Wedding Singer captured it well. I was rewatching Downton Abbey out of sheer boredom and thought Edith's dress was beautiful when she she got jilted at the altar.

Melania wearing white is hilarious.

There have been some beautiful wedding dresses--Princess Grace's was one. It's the fanciest dress most women ever wear and a lot of women don't really know how to dress themselves up. The wedding dress fantasy gets embedded very early--so, to some extent, a lot of women ended up wearing what they thought was beautiful when they were four, while others go for the hot prom dress look, but in white.

And, yeah, the 80s, which spilled over into the 90s were a trainwreck, thanks largely to Di.

Not just Di, but the weird synthesis of aerobic class-styling with over-the-top lace, high-necklines combined with weird strapless/off-the-shoulder looks. Two examples of this look from "iconic" 80s weddings of the day: Janet Jones Gretzky and Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger.

I not swallow for one week before wedding! I tell all mens to come on tittys! I almost virgin!

One of the worst royal bridal dresses - Do you think Dutch Princess Mabel likes bows?

Another horrible royal wedding dress - Princess Olga of Greece. WTF was she thinking?

R50, I'd forgotten how fussy Maria Shriver's was--it was just so typical for the time that it didn't stand out to me. I was thinking Caroline Kennedy's wasn't so bad, but just looked and it hasn't aged well. I think it just didn't look so bad by comparison to other gowns during the same time.

Still like Princess Anne's, who'd have thought she'd be the one to have nailed her wedding dress?

Carrie Bradshaw's made her look like an unmade bed.

For all the fashionista rep she had, it was a surprisingly unflattering dress. It did nothing to soften her hawklike features.

Tina Turner's wedding dress is versatile. She could also wear it to a Halloween party.

Elizabeth Taylor was a fashion victim in nearly every one of her weddings. (The linked page has photos of 'em all). Hard to say which is the worst. The Nicky Hilton wedding dress was conventional and respectable. The Michael Wilding wedding suit was demure and cute. You can see the choices get worse from there, like alcoholic progression: the rainbow monstrosity of the second Burton wedding in '75, the knitwear disaster of the John Warner wedding in '76, and the lace-and-spray-tan nightmare of the Larry Fortensky wedding in '91 (with bridal attendant Michael Jackson loitering creepily outside the chuppah).

It would be a great costume party (or drag show) idea, though: "Elizabeth Taylor Brides."

I think Carolyn Bessette chose exactly the right dress for her groom, understanding the hen is always duller than the cock.

Any of Taylor's outfits beat out most of the shit here.

I have to say Ivanka has a lot more taste than her stepmother.

The two royal dresses I like best are Camilla’s silver gray and gold—especially the brilliant headpiece—and Bea’s recycled Hartnell which suited her blushing milkmaid look.

Sorry I forgot we were discussing horrible gowns.

Why do whores (Melania T) wear white? Does white connote sacrifice?

I like Taylor’s wacky wedding looks.

Was Melania Chinese at that time yet?

To tie in with the Grandmother Memories thread I think grandma looked pretty good in 1932. Her sister made the dress.

R53. I like Princess Olga of Greece's wedding dress. It's quite different, but she looks very princess-like especially in the third photo.

Up close Di's dress looks like something Nellie Oleson would wear.

When I was a young gayling I thought Di's dress was fabulous and romantic but that was through the lens of the 80's. Now I think it was too frou frou with bows and ruffles and huge sleeves. In other words everything wrong with 80's fashion

At a distance it was, R68.

Nah, R66--still a NO.

She looks like the Statue of Liberty, with lit Roman candles in her crown.

Ladies, we've already covered Princess Di's gown. It was very much "of the time" when Gunne Sax by Jessica McClintock, Laura Ashley, et. al. were all the rage.

No DL wedding dress thread would be complete without this.

Carolyn’s dress was perfect for her, perfect for the setting & perfect for the era. The dress would’ve been a bit boring without the gloves. LOVED it & it’ll always be timeless

Does anyone know who the costume designer was for Bea Arthur because that person clearly HATED them!

The Angela & David Bowie wedding in 1970

I did not like Caroline Bissett's wedding dress. There was just nothing to it. I'm all for classic or simple if it looks good, but her wedding dress looked like a plain ol' nightgown.

You can toss the word "iconic" around all the you want but the fact is that Princess Diana's wedding dress was a fiasco. It was a true product of the 80s; too damn much of everything, very over the top. Not only was it an ugly dress it was terribly unflattering to Diana's figure. She was tall and would have looked wonderful in something much simpler and understated. That damn dress wore HER, not the other way around.

Meghan Markle's wedding dress was on the opposite extreme; blah, boring, nondescript. It looked like it was made out of bedsheets. I think she believed she would liven the ensemble up by wearing a flashy tiara with emeralds but the Queen nixed that. She ended up wearing the Queen Mary Bandeau tiara that went very well with the gown. I thought the tiara was the best thing about her wedding attire.

Carolyn Bessette Kennedy's wedding dress looked like a slip or a nightgown. That was considered to be SO chic, but the only type of person who would be able to pull off a dress like that would have to be someone built like a model, and not many women are tall and skinny like a model. The dress was an oddity.

Grace Kelly's wedding dress was one of the most perfect wedding dresses ever created. It also helped that the bride was stunningly gorgeous with a great figure.

I thought Jacqueline Kennedy's wedding dress was beautiful but she disliked it. The snobbish Jackie wanted a Paris gown, something sleek and haute couture. But her husband's father wanted something more traditional. The woman who designed her gown was a black woman named Ann Lowe. Although making the wedding dress for Jackie Kennedy should have really set her career on fire the opposite happened; she lost money and received no real recognition for her considerable efforts. Ten days before Kennedy’s ceremony a pipe bust in Lowe’s studio and destroyed the original wedding dress plus a further nine out of 15 bridesmaids gowns. The main gown had taken two months and more than 50 yards of silk taffeta to create. The designer’s team worked tirelessly to catch up and remake the intricate pieces, at a loss of $2,200 — about $21,000 in today’s money. Anyway, when asked who designed her wedding dress Jackie dismissively said "a colored woman."

I HATE it when brides don’t wear the veil. The millennials started this fuckery. Happy now Hayleigh? now you just look like you’re going to prom in a white dress.

I love the Victorian veils that drape over the head & gather in the back.

Nobody can step to the European aristos when it comes to tasteful weddings. They’re simple, elegant with just the right sentimental touches & all those children, dressed like little lords & ladies following the bride around. The understated bouquets, ancient churches, small guest lists… those weddings put these obnoxious American weddings to shame!

I love Jackie Kennedy’s lampshade dress, even though she hated it. Ariana Grande’s dress was showstopper. I loved Zoe Kravitz’s dress too but I think I’m in the minority on that.

Mermaid dresses, ball gowns with pick-ups and dresses with see-through bodices (pnina tornai lookin at u) all need to die & go back to hell from whence they came, forever

That also goes for the dresses that Ashleigh/Lauren/Jennifer ruins by adding a colored satin belt with a rhinestone brooch attached.

Also from the Vogue article R77 quoted verbatim but failed to credit:

[quote] It appears that by 1964 – by which point Jackie Kennedy was a widowed former first lady – any hard feelings from 11 years prior had softened. Lowe was quoted in the Saturday Evening Post to say the bride had been “sweet”, and Ebony magazine suggests this was when Kennedy learned of Lowe’s original ordeal.

[quote] Soon after, thousands of dollars in debt and trouble with the Internal Revenue Service were cleared for Lowe when an “anonymous friend” paid her back taxes, cutting her debts in half. According to The Washington Post, Lowe suspects the friend to have been Jackie.

The Duke of Huescar’s wedding. These people are Spanish. 1st of all let me just say that I’d fuck the Duke til his hair turned straight. 2nd of all—his mother’s dress & headpiece, omg amazing! She’s the one in navy.

R73, don’t forget her most perfect of accessories….him…

This dress worn by Chelsea Clinton is straight outta Middle America. Very likely she bought it at that wretched bridal barn in Brinkley, Arkansas. Can’t recall the name of it but all the bumpkins from Little Rock drive out there and spends gobs of money of wretched gowns that look just like this one

Is it just me, or is R60's photo of Javanka tilted like the lair of the villains in 1960s Batman? Is the photographer trying to show us the true spirit of his subjects?

[quote]Carolyn Bessette Kennedy's wedding dress looked like a slip or a nightgown. That was considered to be SO chic, but the only type of person who would be able to pull off a dress like that would have to be someone built like a model, and not many women are tall and skinny like a model.

I was an onlooker at Michael Hutchence's funeral in Sydney the following year. Every woman under 50 who attended it was wearing a [short] black slip. It looked like they'd all forgotten to put their clothes on. They were all rail-thin and looked...well, silly. Of course, Sydney is Colette Dinnigan Central, and it was her heyday as a designer. She never seemed to design anything but expensive lingerie, and was feted worldwide for it.

I seriously doubt that Jackie Kennedy was the "anonymous friend" who payed Ann Lowe's back taxes. That seems very out of character for her (she was not known for her generosity) and she and Lowe were far from "friends."

[quote] If Carolyn were alive today, I bet her over-plucked eyebrows still wouldn't have grown back.

This is close to peak DataLounge.

The best wedding dresses are often designed by costume designers. Princess Grace, Taylor's first dress, the dress Yvette wears in Light in the Piazza, The SOM dresses Mary Martin's and perhaps the most beautiful of all Jeakins' for Andrews. Special mention to John Truscott for Redgrave's pumpkin seed Camelot dress.

R86, I loved the way Chrissy Metz' matched her wedding dress to the marquee tent EXACTLY - I mean they were indistinguishable....

But here's the secret with Chrissy's remarkable sense of fashion - it's never really about the dress - it's about the "snack purse"

Julia Roberts did the minimal wedding dress thing 3 years before Caroline Bissette, albeit less successfully. Her dress looked patched together from a Simplicity pattern.

Do wedding dresses ever age well?

[quote]Julia Roberts did the minimal wedding dress thing 3 years before Caroline Bissette

Yeah, they're both...um, white

Caroline looked fabulous. Julia looked like shit. Which is odd, as I think she's usually well-dressed.

I think wedding dresses can be timeless but it’s rarely achieved. I think the secret is that the bride has to forgo all current wedding trends. This model got married in ‘95ish. Those others 90s brides are atrocious (except Carolyn BK) but this one looks like she could walk into any decade wearing that

R95, while that's a cute couple and I kind of love the bouquet, she looks like she ran off with Heidi's sheets.

Caroline Bissett looked awful for a wedding. She looked like she had on a nightgown and was ready for bed. John-John on the other hand looked as handsome as ever.

Other than Caroline Bissett, Grace Kelly and the Spanish chick, who had good ones?

R97, the Spanish chick did not have one of the good ones. She looked like she was about to be buried at sea in a sail salvaged from the Grand Armada.

Camilla did look nice. Excellent choice for her age and a second wedding. I’m not a huge fan of lace but I like Pippa Middleton’s dress.

Julie Andrews gown, veil & garland from the Sound of Music. Timeless & simply beautiful!

I can’t believe I find myself saying this but I liked Princess Beatrice's dress. It’s different but not too over the top and I thought it was sweet that the Queen had the idea of updating it for her. Plus, the tiara looks fabulous. She and Eugenia got to wear the 2 best ones.

R98. I will concede that the train was too much. I liked the top half though.

I like milania’s dress.

Princess Eugenie nailed it. She looked beautiful and her dress was gorgeous.

[quote]This dress worn by Chelsea Clinton is straight outta Middle America. Very likely she bought it at that wretched bridal barn in Brinkley, Arkansas.

I hardly think so. Chelsea's dress has all those wonky, asymmetrical folds or ruffles in the skirt that sophisticated fashionistas like but which I really don't like. I would have chosen something symmetrical and traditionally pleasing but the fashion crowd would say I have pedestrian middle class tastes (and I don't care). I guessed correctly. It was designed by Vera Wang, so definitely not cheap. I do like the upper part of the dress and the crystal belt.

I hate Hilary's dress. It looks like the design was inspired by some tacky Disney princess.

Eugenie's reception dress was also stunning:

R-105 Chelsea’s gown was dated when she wore it. Strapless (groan) , those stupid pick-ups & that belt— basic AF

Lauren Bush, however—knew what she was doing when she picked this

Hillary went for the faux prairie look.

Raquel Welch had the right idea.

The only thing that bugged me about Bea’s dress was that it was too short. Easily overlooked though, considering it was a sentimental choice.

Believe it or not, I think tori spelling looked beautiful at her 1st wedding. Everything she chose was perfect for her

From that Vogue link, Beyoncé’s dress looks like it came from David’s Bridal. Anne Hathaway was ethereal but the rustic setting seemed wrong for that bridal look.

[quote]I like milania’s dress.

Nah, bodega-cat. It's a big ole mess.

Definitely not elegant even though it was made by Dior.

Melania's looks like it was inspired by cats playing with toilet paper.

Lol, R115. After the wedding, Melania had the veil arranged in a very artistic way.

Weddings, like royalty, are feudal and outmoded. Standing up in front of a bunch of people like, "this is the person I'll be fucking from now on, and we also have financial pretexts for getting together." Ick.

Some designers are willing to do anything to get attention. If you thought this was designed by a gay man, you'd be wrong. Chinese designer Guo Pei.

R85 I agree. The designer probably had another rich former client who wanted to help her. Jackie was famous (or infamous )for being one of the few first ladies with minimal to zero interest in humanitarian concerns. The only other first lady that rivaled Jackie in terms of indifference to the less fortunate was Melania.

While her wedding dress was truly fantastic, Eugenie's reception dress was just atrocious. Seriously, what was this crap gown all about?!?

Meghan Markle's wedding dress looked like bedsheets seamed together the night prior to the wedding ceremony. And don't get me started on that tacky veil.

She did look great in her reception gown though. But her wedding attire (bar the tiara) - Jesus F*cking Christ, what the hell was she thinking ...

OP & R8 Melania's trousseau was designed by John Galliano when he was still at Dior. She was even on the cover of "Vogue" at the time (which I find funny, given Wintour later refused to have her during her term as First Lady). It looked better on the cover, than it did in action at the wedding. But I agree that it's entirely too much.

R7 It was very much of the time, but I've NEVER liked Princess Diana's wedding gown. And the damned think was wrinkled to hell by the time she finally got to the church.

R77 & R79 They were very different time periods, but I always preferred Jackie Kennedy's Inauguration look to the one she wore at her wedding.

R10 - you'd be surprised at some of the tasteful dresses I see when I stroll around on Saturday here in Romania. This city has a few designers and this year, the dresses are simple with an empire waist or A-line and with a few delicate crystals. Of course, this is an IT city. The tacky ones I see are gypsies or real hillbillies (and this is how I now understand the social class madame "Architect Vairst Laidee" came from...no architect or educated woman out here would make a spectacle of herself in a dress like that which everyone would say was "kitch" and "de un parvenu"). The inauguration gown was fine, but the gilded stuff in her apartment and the other choices of questionable taste wood be pretty derided by most people.

I know she’s hated, but Ivanka had a beautiful and tasteful wedding dress. One of my favorites.

What I loved about Melania's dress is that the photo opened full size in another tab, and the top looked fine, but the further down I scrolled the worse it got, all the way down to that pleated hem.

I don't hate the dress at r53, it looks like it's from another century and it's kind of nice.

I love Hilary's dress at r105, she looks so good there. Wasn't her reception dress that big green caftan?

Andrea Catsimidis's dress had a peculiar feathery look, but managed to look spare and tasteful by contrast with its overwrought fleshly contents. Wonder what she's doing now.

Olivia Newton John's dress was both unflattering and unfashionable, even at the time. She was so pretty it's amazing that she got everything - the hair, the shoes, the dress - so very wrong.

［R125］ I know she’s hated, but Ivanka had a beautiful and tasteful wedding dress. One of my favorites.

agree

Tori stole Charlotte York Goldenblatt’s look.

Why do larger busty women feel the need to stuff themselves into strapless gowns? It looks hideous. Wear a halter and give those girls some support.

Example: Serena. And that poofy 90s cinderella bottom part of the dress...the curtain on her shoulders... what the hell was that. She has a decent, athletic body. The dress was all wrong for her shape.

Was he the beauty and she the beast? That dress looks like a 10 car highway pile-up.

Victoria Lockwood, the model who was Earl Spencer’s first wife wore a medieval-style gown, gold brocade with fur trim and the Spencer tiara (?). So, another example of choosing a historical style that can’t be associated with a recent decade.

I hope this link works.

^ forgot to say I really admired the gown then and still do today.

Good point, R133. Squeezing her ample cleavage into that strapless dress is not a good look. Surely she's had breast implants.

In this Victoria Lockwood/Earl Spencer wedding photo, who is the hottie on the left in the back?

That "creation" in R118 is really beautiful!

Could it be Darius Guppy, Earl Spencer's best man, later convict. Drinking buddy of Boris Johnson, general all-around toff. The pic in R138 makes him look better than usual since he's keeping his mouth closed, if it's him.

Darius seems to be over on the right, looking suspiciously sweaty.

IMO, Carolyn Bessette's dress *was* boring. IIRC, she worked for Calvin Klein and the CK nightgown dresses were a trend for a long time (e.g., Kate Moss). On top of that, I think CB's dress was bias cut, which I hate. But she was marrying JFK Jr. and that was like a fantasy for many. Her minimal makeup worked well for her. She had that ultra-blonde hair that looked natural-ish but I'm sure cost $$$. Not many women could pull off those '90s over-plucked eyebrows, but I think she pulled it off.

OTOH, I liked Chelsea Clinton's dress. The strapless part was maybe boring, but the skirt part was beautiful, like rose petals.

r114 she looks like she gathered up the sheets of her unmade beds.....

I’d never seen this before, Carole Radziwill’s wedding dress. Very simple, classic fit, not an ounce of lace. I’d say this is timeless.

Who was Bessette's very close designer friend who she swore was going to design her wedding dress then when she bagged John Jr she told him to go fuck himself she was going for a name designer. I'm sure he said 'I hope she screamed all the way down!'

[quote]That "creation" in R118 is really beautiful!

Maybe the fabric and the decoration is beautiful but a woman can't be walking around in a penis outfit with a cross on top.

From R99's link, Audrey Hepburn's dress by Pierre Balmain for her 1954 wedding to Mel Ferrer. Not sure what kind of dress would have worked on her but this one is too prim and just emphasizes that she is too thin.

I don't agree with a lot of this. I don't like long sleeved wedding dresses. Jackie's was the best.

Jackie’s was pretty good except for the awful rosettes on the skirt. The neckline was lovely as was the rows of tucks at the hem.

My former co-worker was a born-again-type Christian, often spouting off about God. She decided to get married and showed me a photo of her wedding dress, which was strapless. I told her that getting married was one of the sacraments, like baptism, etc. I told her that a wedding dress is a dress to wear in church while receiving a sacrament, etc. She didn't really have a response except to say she wanted to look "pretty."

Long-sleeve dresses are a traditional choice for people who have religious ceremonies-ie. Catholic & orthodox churches

Good lord @ Serena’s dress. Words fail me.

I have always admired, nay, I'll admit it - LOVED the Mainbocher gown Wallis Simpson wore when she married the Duke of Windsor.

There is a fine line between stunning, elegant simplicity and boring simplicity and, to my eye, this Mainbocher gown is the former.

It's my all-time favorite celebrity wedding gown.

Say what you will about Wallis Simpson, she knew how to dress!

Oh my God, Serena Williams looked ghastly in that wedding get-up. Just goes to show you that money can't buy taste. What the hell was she thinking? Those melon-sized tits of hers, squeezed together and hanging out for all the world to see...barf! But I think it would have been hard to find a wedding dress that looked flattering on her, anyway. Huge thighs and rump, big hips, big shoulders, big arms, those hefty jugs (implants?)...that's not a body designed to look good in lace and satin and other feminine accoutrements.

I cannot believe no one in Serena's life told her to rethink that atrocity. How does she play tennis with those huge jugs?

Getting back to *horrible* dresses. Here is Anna Nicole Smith's wedding dress when she married that super old, rich guy with the iron-clad prenuptial agreement. She looks miserable.

[quote]Say what you will about Wallis Simpson, she knew how to dress!

Did she learn that from Chinese hookers, too?

Anna Nicole Smith and her ancient hubby BOTH look miserable in that photo at R157. That was indeed a marriage made in hell.

Only a woman built like a veritable stick would have been able to look good in Wallace Simpson's wedding attire. Wasn't she the one who said "You can't be too rich or too thin?"

R159, she thought it was incontheivable.

Forgive me for my error. I meant to say WALLIS Simpson. I've never been a fan of the stylish, greedy, ill-tempered, controlling harridan so the correct spelling of her name escaped me.

Well to be fair David was no prize himself.

I suspect Serena thought the princess gown with tits and cape would lend some femininity to her muscular body.

[quote]How does she play tennis with those huge jugs?

She's been managing for 25 years so presumably she wears a good sports bra.

that time Hilary Baldwin got married in a BASILICA

Hey, stop trashing Anna Nicole. She gave that man the best three months of her life!

Scroll down to take a look at Mary Donaldson's wedding dress after the removal of the dispensable and drab train. Lovely.

The skirt of that dress has folds like linen-fold paneling. It looks very heavy but I guess that was the effect they wanted as she will be queen one day. Nothing frivolous or floaty; sober and stately.

[quote]Audrey Hepburn's dress by Pierre Balmain for her 1954 wedding to Mel Ferrer. Not sure what kind of dress would have worked on her...

Either of the dresses she wore in Roman Holiday for her Royal engagements, at the beginning and end of the piece, would have been gorgeous on her if slightly adapted for wedding purposes. During the New Look a lot of wedding dresses were mid-calf length. That tightly fitted bodice with the elongated waist is extremely elegant, and makes the most of her slenderness without making her look skinny.

Her own dress was truly awful, as were her hair and makeup. They made her look like Ferrer was marrying his cousin from the country rather than one of the century's most beautiful women.

I thought the wedding dress Audrey Hepburn wore in "Funny Face" looked lovely on her. It might not have looked good on a lot of other women, but it suited her perfectly: a dropped-waist Givenchy tulle and satin gown,

It was beautiful in comparison to that thing she wore at her own wedding.

Serena's reception dress was somehow even worse. Makes her look like she has stomach rolls, the fringed skirt, the pointy bust. Good Lord.

Has this been posted yet? Images aren't showing for me on DL

I'll bet that dress matches your personality perfectly, R175. So glad you showed up. You must be starved for attention.

Howard Stern's wife.

Leaving no doubt she was a second wife and a golddigger

I hate sexy wedding dresses. The worst are those atrocities with the see through bodices.

Oh god is wife of Howard Stern is the worst. R177.

I like Hepburn’s wedding dress. It was an informal wedding, he’s wearing a suit, she’s got a wreath of flowers in her hair. It’s a simple unfussy immaculately-fitted dress that must have cost a fortune. This look was pristine, not many women could carry this off.

There's Audrey again pretending to be as virginal as all get out. Ha! She slept with everyone at Ealing just to get her bit in The Lavender Hill Mob. There's a reason she's called Chiquita.

[quote]There's a reason she's called Chiquita.

Reason?

Lady Mary Charteris. Dress designed by Pam Hogg

Proof that aristocrats have impeccable taste.

Haha, R185. For some reason the link stopped working for me. Let's try this one. Lady Mary Charteris.

Per Wikipedia on Lady Mary Charteris: "Her wedding dress, designed by Pam Hogg, was later put on exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Museum."

R186, that is so weird. I did see it when you first posted it, now it's gone @R184; that was a legit gasp at the hideous dress.

And she's of the aristocracy? Which aristocracy? Like an Irish traveller (gypsy) princess?

A wedding dress that does not show the navel can hardly be considered a wedding dress at all.

R188, her dad is the Earl of Wemyss and March which are titles in the peerage of Scotland. She is a model and singer and obviously a rebel. Her husband looks sketchy in the photo at R186 with that odd haircut.

It’s a bit dated now with the shoulder pad deal, but I always thought Caroline Kennedy’s dress was classy.

R184, the groom's no catch either.

I thought the wedding gown Carrie Bradshaw chose in the SATC movie was pretty but no way SJP should have scraped her hair back the way she did. It made her look like a witch.

The dress was gorgeous r193 but it was very ill fitting. SJP’s boobs looked terrible. They didn’t come close to fitting the dress.

That dress MIGHT have fit Samantha R194.

Too many strapless gowns now and for some reason fat girls are enamored of them. They need to cover their fat arms and back rolls with a bolero jacket or something.

I too wonder why so many fat women stuff themselves into strapless gown. Do they think it makes them look sexy? It just makes them look trashy.

These tacky strapless “gowns” are cheaper to make because less complicated tailoring is involved. As long as the woman can hoist herself into it, it “fits.” Budget brides need cheap dresses, and strapless are easy to mass produce and peddle to the mass market.

You have to be creative to come up with something this bad.

Bridesmaids from a Mafia wedding?

IIRC, strapless gowns were not permissible for Catholic weddings; shoulders had to be covered but then times changed and suddenly they were everywhere and endured for 20 years. One reason is that, other than constantly having to hoik up the dress, they are more freely comfortable than wearing tight sleeves. (Like I’m sure that Kate Middleton could raise her arms above her head because the designer at McQueen knew how to draft an arm scythe but most gowns are not custom made)

Strapless wedding gowns are for trashy people - regardless of race, religion or income.

Most of the weddings I've ever been to featured brides with pretty perfect bodies who didn't feel the need to be that exposed.

The image at R202 is straight out of a John Waters' film. Did Divine appear in a wedding dress in a Waters' film?

A true patriot, R206. Must be a MAGAt.

Fat women are almost always marry in strapless because their arms are hard to fit into flattering sleeves. Fat people sleeves have to be ...roomy. Strapless allows the dress to at least appear to be "fitted" and not a tent, since it ends at the top of the bodice.

People rave about Eugenia’s dress but so didn’t like it. Beatrice’s was a patchwork and really looked like it.

Kate’s and Meghan’s bridal were better.

Also, I like Hillary Clinton’s dress.

It’s very her, a bit bohemian but simple.

[quote] Why do larger busty women feel the need to stuff themselves into strapless gowns? It looks hideous. Wear a halter and give those girls some support.

Because designers find a strapless sheath easier to design for anything above a C-cup. It is basically all that is available to them. Designers love to dress rail thin women for a reason - it’s easy. Fitting breasts is difficult.

Connected women like Serena Williams, though, have no excuse.

R147 I like Audrey’s severe Medieval bride look but she does look tarot of sickly thin in that photograph. Ferrer seems to be escorting her from a hospital.

Stern's wife's dress was created by Marchesa (aka, ex-Mrs H. Weinstein)

R156 and R157 - I have always thought of Serena and Anna Nicole as caricatural atrocities and can't even begin to believe someone could stand to touch them. Both augmented by surgeons and mildly retarded. I always thought Venus was the prettier sister and in no way, shape or form was Anna Nicole model material.

R99, the look on Harry's face. "What did I just do?"

I wouldn't call that one horrible, tbf, R215. It's different but not horrible.

Not horrible if you're marrying Dracula.

Bump ... here's Lady Kitty Spencer's wedding dress (she's Princess Diana's niece).

The entire ensemble is sort of too much Diana-ish for my liking.

I'm sorry, here's the official shot.

Still pretty meh.

Fat chicks should be banned from wearing wedding dresses.

Look at Melanie's titties in R116's pic compared to how she looked when she had her "kidney procedure" a couple of years ago.

R222, not really. The problem is that so many women, no matter if slender or porky, simply don't get what fits them best, what they can wear and what not.

My sister would LOVE to be able to wear something similar Kate Middleton's wedding dress, but she knows she could never pull it off. Many women are in denial when it comes to the ability to wear certain stuff - and it's not just wedding dresses.

Well then fat chicks should just be banned, R224.

Interesting that Kitty’s dress is all (chantilly?) lace whereas most of the royal (I know she’s only royal-adjacent ) brides opt for much starker look, with little-to-no lace. Anyway, I like her gown (and I’m not big on lace) and the gown itself isn’t conforming to current style trends so it will still look okay in the photos 20 years from now.

Sounds like Dad wasn’t there for the ceremony… I remember the siblings arrived at the Harry/Meghan wedding with their mother.

They're probably not on very good terms. And Kitty certainly doesn't need the Spencer inheritance now that she has married that billionaire bloke. Let her geezer husband father one or two kids with her, and she's set for life. He might as well bite the dust in a couple of years once the meal tickets are born.

Who is this Kitty person and who is her father? Diana's brother? Why aren't they on good terms?

Kitty is Princess Diana's niece. I didn't like her wedding dress. It didn't seem attractive at all to me, especially the high neck and the puffy at the shoulder sleeves.

You can't be serious, R231.

R188 , high bred doesn't always mean well bred.

I am. I think it suits her and it’s fun.

The dress at r201 reminds me of this vintage tchotchke.

[quote]The dress at R201 reminds me of this vintage tchotchke.

Don't tell me you like R201 too. It's not hideously ugly, just silly. She could have chosen something more grown-up.

Serena Williams had just given birth prior to her wedding. I think she looked beautiful and very happy.

"Serena Williams had just given birth prior to her wedding."

So what? Her choice of wedding attire was hideous. I don't think recently giving birth had anything to do with it.

R237 naive that you don't think a postpartum body would have anything to do with her attire.

So her child was illegitimate?

Mariah Carey had a Princess Diana-type gown, didn’t she?

PS, the more I find out about Jackie Kennedy, the less I like her.

AAMOF, I may even hate her now.

R238, what does having a "postpartum" body have to do with Serena William's atrocious choice of a wedding gown? She was obviously still fat from the pregnancy, that's true. But to pack your huge body into a wedding dress that accentuates how fat you are and how enormous your jugs are...that's just pitifully bad taste.

Lady Kitty Spencer's scrofulous lace horror last weekend, Meghan Markle's badly fitted bedsheet dress, and, of course, Diana's giant meringue.

RIP but the wedding look was bad. As was the groom’s leather wedding suit.

R100's post brings out something I'd never noticed before: the resemblance between the Sound of Music wedding dress and Grace Kelly's. Lace has been replaced by satin in the SoM one and the hemline is different, but it's quite similar.

Angelina Jolie usually wears great formal gowns but her wedding dress was atrocious. The dress looked like matronly lingerie and the veil was a crayon nightmare.

When you're marrying the young Brad Pitt you don't have to try too hard, R246.

She was marrying the old Brad Pitt so I’m not sure what her excuse was.

Before stylists took over dressing her.

Weird how Bill Clinton got sexier and more handsome as he got older, R108. In his wedding photo, he just looks like an ordinary kid.

The strapless gown at R199 doesn't look too bad from the front, considering she's a chubby woman, but when you look at her reflection from the side in the mirror, it's not good.

Like a lot of female athletes, Serena’s body is more functional than shapely. And that’s okay. But she should have consulted a wedding stylist. Hell, a regular stylist too because she dresses atrociously 99% of the time.

I think Serena should have had dress that was much less low cut and with straps and perhaps a bolero jacket but I'm sure she would have said that these suggestions are too conservative and suited to someone significantly older than her.

[quote]I like Jolie’s dress

The top part is too clingy. You can see the exact shape and size of each breast.

Oops. These suggestions have already been made. I guess I have Alzheimer's.

Serena should have worn this caftan in white.

Tbf, she would've looked much better in such a caftan than in what she ended up wearing.

Big boobs run in the family.

You gotta love the eighties…

Awful people, from top to bottom.

I am going to be a princess on my wedding day, dammit!

Not the worst dress of all time, but the dress is wearing her.

The worst TV wedding dresses, ranked.

No, no, no.

2015 wedding of Joseph Getty and Sabine Ghanem

More Getty and Ghanem. Gold trousers. Interesting.

Oh Dolores (R244). Honestly!

I just like the picture...the dress isn't bad.

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